One thing's for certain: We are all getting older and must accept the good and the bad that comes with it. There are the aches and pains that remind you that maybe you were a little rough on your body once upon a time (or maybe still are). There are the wrinkles that might be the result of too much time outdoors, pre-SPF wisdom. Any gray hair you see you might just blame on your choice to have one or more children. Those are the not-so-good but inevitable parts of aging that none of us can avoid entirely.
Along with these relatively minor annoyances are some good things. Comfort with and self-acceptance of who you are. Appreciation for friends and family who allow you to be who you are and love you anyway. And a lifetime of memories that gets richer and more valuable as each year passes. Stories from the good old days are some of the most treasured, and time spent with friends you have known practically forever is sure to encourage a stroll down memory lane.
Oliver Wendell Holmes said: "Memory is a net that one finds full of fish when he takes it from the brook, though a dozen miles of water have run through without sticking."
How true is that?! Get a group of friends together who have a common history, let someone start a story with "Remember the time when....?", and you'll end up with a few different renditions of how the events being recollected actually occurred.
Part of it's just a perspective thing. Did you ever see that movie "Vantage Point"? It's a story told by seven people who were witnesses to the same event, and they have significant differences in opinion about what happened. This is a much-studied psychological phenomena. We all process sensory input through the filter of our own experiences. Even without any extra-curricular, memory-impairing additives like alcohol, (or the simple fact that you may have left the room to go to the bathroom at a critical point on the evening in question), we are naturally prone to having varying perceptions, and thus, recollections of the same event. It is reasonable to write off some of the differences in how things are remembered to that.
Another part of it may be that we are all aging and that our memories don't function as well as we get older. This is a medical fact, and another reason to excuse your friends when they start telling fish tales that leave you scratching your head and asking yourself what in blazes they are talking about. Or if maybe it's YOUR memory that is failing because that's not what you remember at all. Another possibility to consider.
Recently, Andrew spent some time with someone he was very, very close to in high school, and came away incredibly disturbed by the encounter. In his (Andrew's) presence, the friend was telling stories about days gone by and the things that he and Andrew used to do together. He carried on about his own athletic accomplishments with extreme exaggeration. To the point of pure fiction, as Andrew tells it.
It left Andrew baffled for days, and more than a bit worried about his friend: Is he showing signs of early Alzheimer's? Is he a pathological liar? Why would he say those things? Does he really believe that is what happened? Why would he fabricate so much in my presence knowing that I could dispute what he was saying?
Did Andrew's friend simply remember all the fish in the net of his memory, and forget the 'details' that ran through like so much water? Oliver Wendell Holmes may be right, but there is yet another explanation.
Maybe he's just full of crap. Many of us know a pathological story-enhancer who is convinced of his own ability to cast a line and reel us in. This unfettered salesmanship--of ice to Eskimos--twists, edits and embellishes those "Remember when...?" stories, turning shared experiences into something entirely unrecognizable. A naive audience will swallow the story like guppies gobble fish food.
But there just might be someone in the room who won't bite. On this score, I think Mark Twain said it best of all: "Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish." Gotta love Mark Twain, don't you?
Swimming through this week's stream of consciousness, you may have detected a theme. I managed to catchanother of those cute little sterling Fish and Hook clasps that was featured a couple of weeks ago. The first one was landed by a very customer quickly, but there was a feeding frenzy of response from others who missed out. So I thought it worthwhile to re-stock the supply. In a new way, of course. Check it out on the website. Link below my name.
Until next week--I've dangled the bait. I hope I get a bite!
